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"I sat in the department meeting paralyzed by shock as the department head railed about an administrative “crackdown” on nonconformist teachers. Glaring across the room at me, she said, “We all need to be teaching the same thing at the same time. And people who don’t like it need to get out.”
This outburst wasn’t the first attack on my teaching. This teacher had gone out of her way to make me feel incompetent or fearful of losing my job several times. The practice of shutting my door and doing what I felt was best for students had earned me a reputation for being “not a team player.”
It is true my teaching style is different from that of most teachers in my department. But when I suggested technology-based projects or more diverse, relevant articles and novels during co-planning sessions, either my ideas were ignored or I was told they wouldn’t work. Very quickly I learned to keep my mouth shut and continued doing innovative, culturally responsive teaching behind my closed classroom door."Has this ever happened to you?
The above text is from the article, Teachers Can Be Bullied Too (Teaching Tolerance)
The article states that: "One out of every three teachers says that they have been bullied at school"
In addition, other data indicates that:
"One of the most unfortunate parts of these school bullying statistics is that in about 85 percent of bullying cases, no intervention or effort is made by a teacher or administration member of the school to stop the bullying from taking place." ~(Source: naaas.org)
About one third of school based bullying is perpetuated by school faculty/administrators onto their students & other faculty members. ~(Source: Teach Anti Bullying, Inc. )
Although I'm not a fan of the term "Bullying", (because I prefer to more accurately call it what it is: abuse, intimidation, verbal/physical assault, etc.) no matter what you call it, it is a morale destroyer-designed to dis-empower, weaken and create chaos for those who are shy, sensitive or socially weak. It inhibits learning, breeds mistrust among everyone and limits everyone's ability (most of all the oppressor) to reach their highest potential.
Based on my experiences and observations over the last 20 years as an educator, I also see it as a symptom of a much bigger problem: paralyzing insecurity stemming from under-developed (or damaged) sense of self-awareness & self-esteem. Both the victim and the oppressor have the same problem that manifests differently-one by intimidation, the other by becoming a victim, and I believe it begins inside of each individual in childhood.
How does the cycle begin? As I see it, our "politically correct" society, has a lot to do with it. We have undermined taking care of the 'self' in favor of putting others first. We tell ourselves and each other that putting ourselves first-taking care of ourselves is "selfish", and this is not entirely true. Its a manipulation of truth. How on earth can we take care of others if we don't take care of ourselves FIRST?
Of course, no one wants to be called "selfish" or to be thought of as a bad person, so we perpetuate this lie by:
- deferring to those perceived as being in the position of "power" even though we KNOW what they are telling us is absolutely wrong
- not challenging the false paradigms that we encounter everyday
- being willing to still cooperate & "compromise" with others who clearly have no intention of compromising or cooperating with us
- buying into hype of unproven "facts" just because they resonate with how we feel at the moment
- over compensation through giving our children everything they want/ask for, rather then teaching them self-control and/or making them work for what they want, encouraging a sense of entitlement
- forcing kids to "share" even when they don't want to or are not finished playing with a toy or if the child they are expected to share with breaks/steals their toys
- fighting kids battles for them instead of teaching them how to protect & advocate for themselves
- "honoring" and "obeying" those who can and will possibly do harm, and at the expense of honesty, integrity and our children's self-esteem and more importantly, their well-being
- teaching kids that competition is "bad"-and "cooperation" is what we strive for, and then giving everyone a medal/trophy for just showing up, even if they were uncooperative and let their teammates do all the work
- continuing to willingly be "offended" at things that in reality are not offensive so much as expose the offender's ignorance
- perpetuating the lie among children (and adults) that they are powerless to stop abuse, and that bullying is the absolute worst thing that can happen to them, hence encouraging a fearful, victim mentality and empowering current and potential oppressors
What happened to searching for a higher truth, thinking a problem through, maintaining integrity no matter what, establishing and respecting personal boundaries, becoming a "winner" by always doing your personal best and "Sticks and Stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me" ?
We "D.A.R.E" kids to "just say no" to drugs, we indoctrinate them with "anti-violence" mantras, yet when bullying is reported, no one wants to really do anything to actually stop it.
Administrators don't take it as seriously as they say they do. They HAVE to say they take it seriously, due to laws, and then they say they have a "zero tolerance" policy, which usually only results in the victim being punished in some way, and being too intimidated to even report it the next time-(and there will be a next time.)
The bullies and oppressors know this. They become more empowered. Child victims of bullying/abusive behavior grow up to be adult victims of the same-both at home and in the workplace.Child bullies grow up with a sense of entitlement and most likely will become an oppressive adult. The cycle continues when an adult accuses another adult of bullying, and reports it, most supervisors liken this to kids tattling on each other and no one takes it seriously, even though they SAY they do...Do you see a pattern here?
Yet every time there is a school shooting, the media reports either hint or tell us outright that its due to some form of bullying. So instead of finding out how to stop bullying so kids and staff don't shoot up schools, school boards and classmates, we instead, demand gun bans. Do you see how we are avoiding the real problem?
Its imperative to understand that the problem did not happen overnight, it took years to build to that point of bullying, abuse or violence. There was $132 million budgeted by congress for Anti Bullying programs in 2012, and yet, here we are no closer to solving the problem than we were 10 years ago, and in fact, some statistics indicate that the problem has gotten worse.
The problem as I see it, (to summarize) is that we have been so busy trying to ensure that our kids are "happy" that we have taken away their ability to function, to survive and to thrive.
The solution as I see it, is to first eliminate this insane hamster wheel of action & reaction, starting with the items listed in the bullet points above, that in reality do absolutely nothing to empower children, adults or make the world a better place, other than making everyone feel good for a little while. (For example, I am all for sharing with others-especially the less fortunate-but only when I am finished with the item or object that I worked for and earned. If I'm going to share, its because I am motivated from the inside-not compelled externally just because someone said we should "redistribute" what we have and that I should share. I am all for giving medals, trophies and awards to kids-but only when they show outstanding EFFORT, improvement and interest...when they do their part-not just because mom signed them up and they wore the uniform, halfheartedly, because they just wanted to "belong" to something. This is offensive to the kids who want to be there and learn, acquire skills and do their best. This goes double for adults in the workplace, but how can we expect adults to embrace these policies if they have not been taught as kids? (The result is what we are seeing - an "entitled" society.)
What if we taught our kids to NOT depend on others- either to make them feel good to stop the bullying problem? What if we put more energy and time into providing them tools and strategies that truly empowered them so they could learn to feel more confident and depend on themselves? Ultimately, no one can do that for them, they have to find their own effective method, but they need help to navigate this and build their self-reliance skills.
I realize that in some cases, as with a special needs child, this may not be entirely possible for them to self-advocate, but if enough kids have a workable understanding of the imbalance of power, and what happens inside the victim, and inside the oppressor, and if enough of them are taught to be bold enough to speak up, and do what is right and know what to do & how to do it, I guarantee that the kids tormenting a special needs child in school, will be outnumbered & swiftly stopped by the student support system of that child, (which would be a majority of the other students) who have the capacity to stop it before it gets out of hand.
Bullying victims need allies and resources. When victims know they are supported, they are better able to become self-empowered. Lets do right by our kids, peers and co-workers and start actually solving the problem from the root-from the ground up.
Related Reading & Resources:
Bully Buster: Text a Tip Service Helps Schools Stop Bullying
Teach Anti-Bullying
iPushBack (Shane Fazen)
Do you have a resource you would like to add?
Please share it in the comments below.
